Why Don’t We Succeed?
One AYA reader sent me an e-mail after reading my last post – “Why Do We Fail?” Here is the essence of that e-mail:
“I read your latest post, and I truly liked those three reasons that you’d mentioned for our failures. I believe, I am very clear on what I want, and I kept my goals very reasonable too. Also I am not a quitter. However, I’ve experienced that despite having all these three ingredients present in my strategy to work for success; I am not fortunate enough to see the expected success consistently.
I have seen success in bits and pieces, here and there, but nothing consistently. Looks like I am missing the important link, and I only get to taste the success by chance so far. I am wondering if there is any systematic approach that can be developed for guaranteed success in any attempts for any goals in life!
I also keep exploring varieties of ways to do things differently to make sure I don’t leave any stone unturned, but still only mediocre success and nothing great. Can you help me understand what am I doing wrong here?”
Yes, to know why we fail is not enough. We also need to know what it takes to be successful.
Understanding why we fail might help us to avoid common pitfalls and improve our efforts, but to experience success every time is altogether a different ball game.
The question, here is: Is it possible to get the expected result each time, for any goals we have in life? Or is there any approach that can be developed that yields high probability of success?
The answer is yes, it’s possible, just like how your favourite strawberry cake from your favourite bakery tastes always the same. Similarly, success too can be achieved if we know the right method of preparation. Why? Because the baker knows the recipe really well and each time he makes that strawberry cake, the taste turns out the exact same.
While there is no one formula for success nor there is any guarantee that just because something is working for someone, it’ll work for everyone. We all have our own way of approaching our goals. There is no one success mantra. However, I have a simple two-step action process to share with you which can work for anyone just as effectively as it has been working for me.
Do you want to know what is it? Yes? Okey, but before I share that simple two-step process, let me tell you a beautiful story of Socrates about the secret of success.
One bright and scholar student approaches Socrates and asks him: “O Master! I’ve learned many great things from you all these years, still the secret of success remains unknown to me. Can you please tell me what it takes to be successful in this life?”
Socrates looked at him with smile and a thoughtful expression, after sometime, he responded, “My son, the secret of success lies within us. Come see me tomorrow morning at the bank of the river, and I will be happy to reveal that secret to you.”
That student was so happy and felt really good that he asked this question to Socrates. He couldn’t wait any more for the morning sun. The next day he woke up early and rushed to the river to find out the secret of success. Socrates was already there taking stroll on the bank of the river. The student greeted him with reverence and started walking with him with all excitement, waiting to be revealed with the greatest secret of life.
Socrates said: “Go into the river and stare deep inside the flowing water.” The student obeyed his master, and went to the edge of the river and bent over and was looking deep into the flowing water. He was engrossed looking into the water for quite some time, and all of sudden Socrates jumped over him and took him by the neck and plunged his head into the water. After few seconds, the student started struggling to breathe. He writhed under the strong grasp of Socrates, but he couldn’t pull his head out of the water.
After struggling for a couple of minutes, he felt the sudden surge of strength within him and he pushed himself out of the water, and gasped the air from his mouth. He was taken aback with the strange behavior of his otherwise kind master.
He asked with mixed emotions of surprise and anger, “Why on the earth did you do that to me??!!”
Socrates looked straight into his eyes, and asked, “While your head was under water, what was the one thing that you desperately wanted?”
“Air to breathe to stay alive, what else it could be?” the student replied.
“There you go! When you will want success as desperately as you wanted that breath of air, you are sure to get it – that’s the only secret of success, my son!”
We all wish for success, don’t we? But then why is it so difficult to taste the success quite often, not to mention to experience it on a consistent basis.
Well, there is a big difference between wishing for the success and being ready to receive the success.
Wishing is mere hopping that something you want, will happen or come to you. Being ready to receive is all about doing 100% what you should be doing to materialize your mere wish into a solid result.
Your goal can be anything.
- To achieve financial freedom or to overcome any difficulties of life.
- To control your weight or to build a new habit.
- To get more traffic to your blog or to increase the sell of your product or service.
- To publish a book or to start a public speaking career.
- To quit your job or to get a dream job.
Any goal, any wish, any dream can be achieved only by being ready to receive that much needed success.
And there are only two steps involved to achieve that ready status.
- Finding out what works and what doesn’t.
- Making sure to do what works repeatedly enough to see the desired result.
The reason of failure thus also can be only two:
- Either you don’t know what works to be successful in your path.
- Or if you know it, then you’re not doing enough to see the expected success.
Why we miss out on success – What happens in real life?
I will give the example from my life. My goal for this blog is to reach out to as many readers as I can.
I chose two options for that
- Blog Comment: Finding out other successful blogs in my niche and I’d read the blog post and would put my comments with my blog link, to get free traffic to my website.
- Guest Posting: Writing on successful blogs which has already thousands of subscribers and a large readership, to gain maximum attention in short span of time.
Both options require efforts. I did both.
I have found guest post option more valuable. With one guest post I am able to reach out a large number of people that probably one thousand comments will not be able to achieve.
However, I only did one guest posting so far in last 11 months!
I am till date reading books and blogs and exploring other new options to increase web traffic for my blog – in short, wasting my hours, days, weeks and months. But I am not doing guest posting. I know that only one guest post gave me good increase in my Twitter followers and Facebook likes. Even I know this guest post option is working for me, yet I haven’t done all that I should to explore this option fully.
Why?
Well, I have no answer for that. Whenever I ask myself: “Why am I not doing guest posting?” – my mind goes quite, it has no reasonable explanation that I can accept.
I think, this is our general behavioural tendency when it comes to work for our goals. And that’s exactly what majority of us are doing; while simultaneously keep wishing for the success. As if someone going to drop that success from the sky in our lap!
I have decided to focus on guest posting for the rest of the 2016. And I am announcing this publically, today. I must practice what I say.
Ok, so back to our main subject, we only have to take care of these two important steps to see the desired result for our goal. Below are sub-actions that we can take to complement the main two-steps process for developing success approach.
Two-step Action Process To Achieve Any Goal in Life
1. Finding out what works for you.
- Ask yourself what worked for you last time for your goal.
- If you can’t find out what works for you, look at the other successful people who had the similar goal, ask, listen, observe, learn, adopt and put into the practice the same practice that had worked for them.
- Track your actions and results to find out more effective option that delivers the expected result effectively and massively
2. Doing more of what we already know works.
- Remember the success is repeating what works.
- Don’t waste your precious 24 hours of time in exploring million new ways to find out how to achieve that one thing which you desperately want. Stick to one path, and go all the way.
- When you don’t know what exactly you should be doing, just start doing anything that you think you should or you can. Devote 90% of your time doing it, and 10% of your time searching for the other option (mostly we do opposite, though), and when you find out the better option, shift your 90% to that new option.
Our belief forms our attitude and our attitude impacts our actions which eventually delivers the associated result, believe in this two-step process and go for it with total faith. It will help you be ready to receive your much expected success in your goal.
Remember, if you think you can, you’re right, just think passionately and work desperately for it.
Have fun
Bharat Jhala
(Image Credit: Léa Dubedout)
Hey Bharat, great post! I’ve never heard that story before, and I like it. It instantly gives you that sensation of what it is like to dedicate yourself to a particular goal. However, I also like your 2 steps, because like any parable the story leaves gaps through its simplicity. An instant surge of strength is worthless if you can’t apply it in an effective way. One thing they taught me about helping a person who is drowning, it that if you go out to them to swim them to shore, often they will be so panicked they will flail or latch onto you impeding your ability to swim, and help them. So you have to be very careful. That’s why I like your step 1. However, obviously, finding out what works, and what doesn’t is much easier said than done!
Finding out what works can be difficult, but not impossible, Michael. I am sure if you look out for ways, you will find not just one but many. Yes, for that you have to step out from your comfort zone, and seek guidance from others too sometimes.
I’ve noticed that most of the time people hang onto themselves and try to figure out everything by themselves. There’s nothing wrong to ask and seek guidance who have traded the path before you. It only helps. Of course, you deal with your goal your unique way, but research, guidance and willingness to succeed does help.
Remember we only can control three things: thoughts that we think, images that we visualize and actions that we take. If all three are aligned, success won’t be too far :)
Hope it helps, and thanks for dropping by and reading the post and taking time to comment on it.